


Today is going to be a weird day

by MarlaLannisterErsoDanGlokta



Series: Infinity Play [1]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: AU, Alive Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen), Drug Abuse, Evan is a mess, Everyone Is Alive, F/F, Flashbacks, I AM A MESS, I hope it isn't too ooc, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, Parallel Universes, Second Chances, Violence, i ship all this ok, maybe a series, maybe not, my first work in english, non english speaker here, too - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-26 00:54:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15652461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarlaLannisterErsoDanGlokta/pseuds/MarlaLannisterErsoDanGlokta
Summary: Evan wakes up, everything seems to be normal but...Connor's globe is missing from under his pillow, as it hasn't ever been there...Maybe because it never was.I am terrible at summarys: just a short fic about Evan woking up in a world in which Connor and him met before the incidents in the play (how typical, I know).





	Today is going to be a weird day

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work in English, so it is short and probably full of mistakes.  
> Feel free to share them with me.  
> Hope you enjoy it! :)

Extra!Notes: Thoughts in this brakets: [ ] just in case italics don't work.

Evan woke up feeling kind of dizzy; what was that funny feeling inside him? It wasn’t really as if he has feeling something concrete, but it was roaming in the background, and it made him feel happier than anything else in his entire life.  
He looked around, everything looked exactly as it did before the sun came out that morning but, at the same time, something felt odd.  
He turned around and picked up his pillow, expecting to find the baseball glove Mr. Murphy had given him underneath. He gasped in shock; there was no glove, nor anything else to be seen, it was just a space as empty as his freezer usually was.  
[Zoe’s father can’t find out by any means]. He felt anxiety rushing through his veins as it used to do before the hole Lie became his true day-to-day. Furthermore, it felt even more intense than it should have, as it had been a longer while since the last time he had been through it.  
[I’d better go to the Murphy’s and beg for their forgiveness for losing their dead son’s glove]; he thought while looking for some hoodie –as the was beginning to get accustomed to wear- but only finding his time-worn light blue T-shirt, which he hadn’t put on in ages.  
[Weird, I thought mom threw it away or something…Whatever, it’ll have to do].  
He put it on and headed over the Murphy’s while thinking a believable enough excuse to tell the marriage in order not to lose their affection (especially Mister Murphy, he just couldn’t handle the idea of lacking a father figure again).  
For his own astonishment, the man was already standing outside the door, looking as furious as a rabid dog.  
“I knew you would come”.  
[Holy shit, how did he know I lost the glove? Did I accidentally drop it out on a street nearby? Oh my fucking God, I am having a panic attack. Keep calm, Evan, think about trees…]  
“You have balls, kid, coming here after the mess you made”.  
[Wait a sec…did he found out about the whole lie?! Easy Evan, don’t hyperventilate…]  
“Look, there is an explanation…”  
“Oh, yeah; you left that pretty clear yesterday. You know, my son was already a complete basket case before he met you, but at least he wasn’t a fag”.  
“But…your son’s dead”. In a sudden burst of even more extreme anger, the older man approached him until only the length of the older man’s arm, whose middle finger extended towards Evan, who couldn’t be more freaked out even if he tried.  
“Don’t you fucking dare to my own words against me. He’ll go to a special facility and he’ll be normal at last”.  
[Ok, now, I am cent per cent lost]; he was just about to turn back and go home to forget about the whole thing –more like obsessing with it- when a light turned on in his brain and he found himself as a viewer inside his own body, some months ago.

At the beginning, there was no difference with what he already remembered. He was on that tree, he was about to fail and…he decided to let go.  
He felt his bones breaking as he hit the ground, he screamed in pain. Then, something ‘new’ happened.  
He heard a cynical laughter.  
CONNOR?!  
“Oh my God, you must be very stupid kid to fall down like that, it’d have been pretty easy to stick to the fucking branch”; he was, as usual, wearing a black hoodie and loose dark jeans. And he was definitively high.  
Past-Evan felt pissed (as ‘present-inner’ Evan could felt) and overwhelmed by the physical pain, now added to the already too-great-to-embrace mental one.  
“MAYBE I LET MYSELF GO, YOU JACKASS. MAYBE YOU DON’T GET IT BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO FUCKING ANGRY AND STONED ALL THE TIME TO REALISE IT, BUT SOME PEOPLE JUST FEEL TOO MUCH PAIN AND WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR IT TO STOP. AND CRAP! WHY AM I SAYING THIS OUTLOUD? WHY AM I SCREAMING? FUCK, SHIT, sorry, I…please, Zo…Connor, don’t be pissed at me.”  
For his astonishment, Connor didn’t looked pissed, but pretty much concerned and, suddenly, completely sober.  
“It might come as a surprise to you, Hansen, but I totally get it; I sometimes think of doing it myself…” His expression suddenly changed. “Wait, are you being honest or are you just trying to make me feel comfortable just to mock me later?”  
[Oh gosh, this guy had some serious issues…] He though in a, he realized, too tender way.  
Past-Evan was just shocked by the whole situation.  
“No, I am honest. I have actually been way much more honest than I wanted to…I know you know, but, I am Evan, Evan Hansen. Nice to kinda meet you, I guess.”  
“Bond salute wasn’t like that, but ok.” He had a quirky smile when he wanted. “Well, I am Connor, Connor Murphy; the official lost cause of our high school in general and our promotion in particular. Um…I am still short of high but…would you like a drive to the hospital?”  
Past-Evan laughed uncomfortably and ‘present-inner’ Evan started to actually REMEMBER that moment as one lived by himself and to feel nostalgic.  
“Yeah, I’d appreciate”. 

All came back to Evan in that instance. All the moments that went after that one. All the ones in which it seemed that they were never going to talk again, the ones in which they started to question the hole ‘friendship’ concept and, finally, the ones in which they could actually hold hands –and other stuff- without any of them freaking out (most of the times).  
As all the memories came back, he froze and, somehow, found courage to face Mr. Murphy.  
“You know, I used to like you. I used to believe Connor’s hate on you was just another one of his issues. I wished I had known better, I wished…”  
The very last memory of his new time line arrived at this brain.  
And it was painful as Hell.

It was the previous day, and Connor and he –already stablished as a couple- were arriving to the tallest one’s house.  
They’d been arguing.  
“No, Evan, they won’t understand. I know you think they are cool, but they are gigantic jerks.”  
“Cm’ on, Connor! Zoe thinks we’re kinda cute, you are kinda cool and they are always nice to me when I come.”  
“Yes, as a FRIEND.”  
“It’ll make no difference.” A part of Evan was actually surprised he was even thinking about telling the Murphys about his ‘intentions’ to his son, but he thought it was time to face the music.  
And then Connor freaked out.  
His metal breakdowns were farther and few between as time went by, but they still happened.  
“YOU ARE NOT FUKCING TELLING MY PARENTS ABOUT US BEING A THING, YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP OR I’LL KICK YOUR ASS AND LEAVE YOU TO…”  
Connor shut up as he realized Evan’s face had become white as a sheet. He knew it wasn’t because of him screaming (Evan had learnt to let him shout and then try to calm him down quite successfully), so he turned back slowly, fearing the worst.  
And the worst happened.  
His father was there and had heart every single one of his screams.  
“You, get inside.”  
“Or…?”  
“…Or I’ll tell the police about the drugs you’ve been using and about how you used to treat your sister, some brushes still last”.  
“Father…”  
“Don’t call me that. You, as a son, are dead to me. And Hansen…go; I thought you were a real man, now I realize that I was wrong”. 

Evan was back into the present moment. He felt so guilty…  
[It’s my fault. It is my fucking fault. If I hadn’t insisted about coming out. Crap. I should have lied, like I did in the other world. Everything was better back there…] That wasn’t true, though, he realized: back there, Alana and Jared were not truly his friends, he was (mentally) miles away from his mother and his whole relationship with Zoe was based on lies.  
[And Connor wasn’t there]; he never thought he could experience as much pain as he felt while picturing that scenario.  
So he faced himself and, with it, Mr. Murphy, and started yelling at him.  
“You are full of bullshit. Your son is screwed-up. And it’s everyone’s fault but also nobody’s fault but it is yours more than anyone else’s because I just don’t get how he didn’t killed himself after living under your roof for so long. You know? I used to believe Connor talking about you was just only one more of his exaggerations, a product of his altered pessimistic perception of the world. Spoiler alert: NOT TRUE, HE WAS RIGHT. YOU…YOU ARE A FREAKING ASSHOLE!”  
The kicks started, and they were violent. From inside the house, he believed he spotted Connor –and not in a very good physical shape, precisely- looking at them through a window with a glare of uselessness in his eyes; but it could also have been his imagination.  
Luckily, a voice saved him when he was starting to think he was going to die right there.  
“Ey! That idiot you are hitting is my Family Friend and, if you don’t leave him alone, I’d love to see how you explain the video I am shooting and never deleting when I published it on the Internet!”  
“Ja…” Evan started coughing.  
“Ok Hansen, don’t speak. I’ll take you to your mom after calling to remind her how cute I was as a chubby baby with a way too big pen…Ok, too many details for Mr. Homophobic to hear live. Oh, and we are taking your EMO nut-job kid too. Apparently, he is Ohana or some Disney shit like that too.”  
Not surprisingly at all, the idea of going to jail and having his reputation ruined seemed more terrible to him than having a queer son.  
So, after a few minutes, the two teens were reunited with a tired, beaten up and clearly stoned Connor.  
“This doesn’t end here”, proclaimed Mr. Murphy before reentering the house.  
“Wow Murphy, you look high again. That was quick.”  
Evan looked at Jared and then at Connor.  
“The reserve supply under your coach, am I right?”  
“Shut up, Hansen. It’s none of your business”. However, he was smiling.  
He approached him, leaned towards him and kissed him.  
The other boy was surprised. Somehow, it seemed like the first kiss but, at the same time, it felt like a usual habit.  
The only thing he was sure was that it felt great. 

Zoe arrived at Evan’s place some hours later, carrying a couple of backpacks and her kit for the jazz orchestra.  
Alana, Jared, Evan and Connor looked at her with astonishment.  
“What the fuck Zoe?!”  
“I learned about what had happened when I arrived home from the jazz camp. Dad was furious and mom was just passive and condescending.” She stared at Connor. “You’d been a bastard with me for a very long time, but now you are my older brother again and I guess I don’t want to lose that in exchange of our shitty parents. So I left, for good. Plus, I don’t want to see Evan sad; mostly because of that.”  
“Nice. You…can stay here, if you want.”  
“Or at my place”. Alana added quickly... “I mean, Evan’s mom will have enough with two messy teenagers. Nor that you Zoe are as messy as them. Or any messy at all.” Connor, Jared and Evan did their best not to laugh.  
[Oh God, she’s just like me back there with Zoe…]  
Zoe just smiled, looking more mature than the four oldest people in the room.  
“I’ll think about it.” But for now…what are we going to do? Because our parents are not going to stop and the situation is truly bad; and I think we are not the only teens suffering it…”  
Suddenly, Evan had a revelation.  
“How does the Murphy Project sound to you?”

**Author's Note:**

> And this is it, my first English fic.  
> From now on, I am planning on writing all my fics in English, which is kind of scary and wild for me (Spanish speak here, hi from Zaragoza, city of cierzo [terrible wind]) but, hey, who doesn't risk...  
> This was first a short story to practise for my C2 exam next November (yeah, I am crazy) but...it turned into a Dear Evan Hansen one-shot that might become something else...  
> ...not gonna say anything just in case my project fails.  
> Glad you read this thing,  
> wishing for any type of feedback,  
> Long live and prosperity (yeah, huge Star Trek geek),  
> Marla Lannister Erso Dan Glokta


End file.
